Vetting by the Adolescent Relationship Commission

Allowing myself to experience what I felt yesterday has made today wonderful.  I awoke, took a shower, chased silly negative, self-defeating and poisoning thoughts out of my head and went on a search to volunteer. I discovered the Keystone Trail Association and their looking for a director for their summer trail crew program.  I think that will give me some experience I need.

While doing research my thoughts went back to things of the past.  Kids have been asking questions -- as they so often do-- and I know it's only a matter of time before I'm placed in the uncomfortable situation of having to respond.  His response has been evasive.  To tell you the truth that's hurtful.  He's pretending like we didn't exist. However, when I put myself in his shoes I can empathize.  He feels like a failure and it probably seems a bit smarmy that he dated two women at his workplace (make no mistake, it is) but he doesn't want to deal with that so he might as well pretend like we never happened; avoid us and we will go away.

I'm not going to avoid us.  That just creates lies and I'd rather face it head on. So, here's my response if it's ever needed:

Yes, we dated briefly during the first year.  But that's not the point. I think the point is that Mr. [Blank] and Miss [Blank] discovered their love for one another and now they're happy. So rather than dwell on the past let's just rejoice in the fact that they found each other. Let's just be happy for them.

With that as my response I can already feel heart freedom.  It feels light.  I'm not going to deny our relationship to students because I think they need to see that not all relationships work out.  Now, if my mentees from the first year  ask I'll be more specific and honest with them, but still provide them age appropriate knowledge. I will not lie.

I never thought I'd have to do this.

I wrote one of my first blog entries almost a year ago detailing the ensuing demise of our relationship.  Honestly, I wish it was the relationship that we wanted it to be.  But it wasn't. When you date an addict, you date a selfish emotionally unavailable person.  When you date him without his addiction, you date a selfish emotionally unavailable person. Two-fold was too much.  I'm happy that I'm free of him. Not happy that I'm single though.  I'd like someone to laugh with, cook for,  and spend time with. It will come. I just have to be patient and we all know, I'm no good at that.   :) However, I'm free to have a healthy relationship, and if you don't know, I'm good at that.